Letting go of bitterness: on love and loss.


I’ve collected stories I’ve received over time from friends and some personal experiences and the advice I’ve heard or received to put it into one little concise blog post on the change of human relationships within life, love, friendships or work.Human relationships are complicated. I just wanted to write a little post about those times when you feel betrayed, failed or down right p***ed off at somebody and a relationship changes, or is over. This could be with a romantic partner, friend, family member or otherwise, and you’re left with that horrible taste in your mouth from a spoonful of ‘grudge soup’. You feel bitter, angry and hateful.

Here’s my take: Life is short, we only get one. However, we are living for so much longer than our ancestors did and I think naturally, relationships with others will morph and change over the course of our lifespan, is there really such a thing as a soulmate? Do we really believe that for the human species? People fall out and fall back in, friends will drift away, and its perfectly normal. There’s no longer that pressure to find a mate or life-parter so young, we can afford to ‘get it wrong’ a few times, or just enjoy ourselves before we settle down.
I watched a video by Jason Silva, a renowned keynote speaker and creator of the “Shots of Awe” series online. ‘Shots of awe’ is described as little philosophical espresso shots, and I can’t agree more. The way he unravels human emotions, simplifies and normalises them in a beautiful way cause people to walk away with a new perspective on things. I think I am going to make a list of the top videos online that I turn to when I need a help with self-validation and put things into perspective.

Anyway, Jason’s video, “Love is the greatest pain” (March, 2014), captivates the feeling of experiencing both love and despair at the same time. Feeling love but also loss at the same time is common, feeling melancholic because you know a moment won’t last forever, or perhaps you know the relationship isn’t going to be forever but you’re enjoying the “right now”. Enjoy it. People change, it’s what makes life interesting. Don’t fret over the past, you have the rest of your life to look forward to with love and laughter. People are going to come and go, some may stay, but your positive attitude can last. “You have your memories, no body can take them away from you” a great man once said to me and “you have your happy memories, lock them in a box at the back of your mind and only open it when you’re ready” a great woman once said to me.

Even if a relationship has ended suddenly or messy, what are you going to gain from living with a massive cloud of hate over your head? You’ve removed yourself from that situation and you are no longer under threat of further hurt if you don’t allow it. You’ve possibly learned from it. If you’re like me, you have a lot of love to give, I don’t hold bitterness against anybody and I very much look forward to the people who are going to enter my life in the future. As Jason Silva says:

“Fall in love, or die trying”

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